14 Weeks in Asia

I’ve been back in the good old USA for almost a month.  Between the holidays, apartment hunting, and half-baked plans for future travel/jobs/hobbies, it’s getting a bit crowded in my little head.  So before all the blissful Asian memories of the past 3 months evaporate, and also because I promised back at the 7 week mark, I'm sitting down to document some of the more positive thoughts that have bubbled up during and after the trip. 

1.  If you think you can’t travel alone, you are wrong

If it’s safety you’re worried about, I won’t address that.  Ask the internet or your local neglected library or the almighty travel guidebooks about destinations that are interesting to you and not intimidating.  Of course, traveling alone as a woman isn’t a great idea everywhere, but there is definitely somewhere in the world you can feel comfortable, whoever you are. 

Before I left, most people (including myself) worried that traveling alone would be lonely.  Will you be lonely sometimes?  Sure.  There was one night in the Philippines when I woke up at 2 am and went on a cockroach crushing flurry (OK only 5, relax) and sure wished I wasn’t alone. But those moments were very, very rare.  If you travel alone you will make friends with other travelers whenever you feel like it.  It doesn’t matter if you’re an introvert or extrovert.   I am totally team introvert (see here for an awesome explanation from the Atlantic) and found the friend-making easy and natural. 

Here is a hint: the solo traveler platonic pickup scene centers around a) transportation and b) structured activities.  Why?  Because local transportation is usually slow, boring, and you wait around forever.  So people start talking to each other if they think they have a language in common.  Seriously.  If you look like you speak English as your 1st – 3rd language, you will make friends with other travelers.  Or you can sign up for a trek or a kayak trip or a cooking class and you will make friends with whoever is in your group.  It’s almost unavoidable, trust me.  There were days when I tried.  

2.   Choose experiences over buying stuff. 

It’s how I saved enough money to do this trip in the first place, and what I will remember most from the trip.  Stargazing from the roof of a hostel.  Hiking through mountain rice terraces.  A perfectly spicy bowl of noodle soup.  Biking around on dirt roads in search of waterfalls.  A geisha dance recital.  Epic sunsets over the Mekong.  For my next trip, I am determined to be better at avoiding shopping and if I’m serious about that, I probably shouldn’t return just before Christmas.  I blame you, friends and family, for my shopping! Also, bring the smallest backpack possible because you will magically end up filling it with junk - e.g. a Hmong quilt that smells like bbq and rips in the washing machine. 

3.  America is A-OK

Maybe it was defending the US from all the Europeans and Canadians who find us so irritating/arrogant.  Or maybe it was having to tell people all the time that “I’m American,” a phrase I associate with extreme flag-wavers and the Fourth of July.  But in all seriousness, I came home feeling that, despite all our obvious problems, this country does a lot right.  In particular, the time away has made me appreciate American efficiency and our wonderful infrastructure.  Now I get really excited about the paved roads, tap water I can drink, sewer systems that can handle toilet paper, an internet connection that is faster than dial up of the 90s, the expectation that I don’t have to bribe anyone, and the fact that usually people take their jobs seriously.  Things work here.  Sure, I would like to live somewhere in the happy middle ground between developing nation chaotic poverty and Western workaholic hyper materialism.   I can dream.

4.  My first impressions are way too harsh

When it comes to people, I’m well aware that I tend to be judgmental.  In fact, if I remember back to when I met most of my now close friends, I didn’t really like them either.  (Sorry, guys.)   But in the weird world of backpackers, my knee-jerk judging suffered a big blow.   By chance and circumstance, I ended up spending more time with people I severely disliked at first sight, and in the end I liked them or learned something from them.  So, now I will always remember the days I spent with Austrian Rastafarian Living in Laos (initial dislike due to hippie body odor and tattoo depicting his ribs and guts) or Aggressively Athletic English Guy (initial dislike due to constant bragging about how fit he is and the massive trek he just completed).  You two will remind me to give people a chance, and trust that most of the time people grow on me. 

5.  Quiet time is amazing

I needed it and chances are you do too.  Ride your bike or read or take a hike or stare at the ocean or just sit.  You'll feel better, promise.  You deserve some time away from the noise of daily life.  Or listen to this guy, if you don't believe me: “Time and silence – so necessary, so natural – have by now become luxuries which only a few can afford.”

6.  Travel will always be waiting for you – if you really want to make it happen.

I met plenty of people who were older than me, traveling for much, much longer and had much more complicated lives.   Things I learned are not excuses:  being over 50, leaving young kids at home, bringing young kids with you, not having much money, having a serious important career at home, health or fitness problems, dietary restrictions, not speaking the language, being a 22 year old racist.  What else you got? 

So, I'll definitely head out again, sooner or later.  And you should too!